Spirit Sunday - This Week Unicum (Part Two)

This Week – Unicum (Part Two)

Just to recap, last week I was set to review the Hungarian bitters Unicum, however found it so totally awful that I couldn't review in any normal way. Over the last week I have collected 9 different mixer drinks and will try unicum with all of them. Twice, just to be sure.

Coca Cola Zero Vanilla. The Bitters really bite in and make it much more drinkable. On the second tasting I understand why I appreciate the vanilla, its sweetness helps mask the awful taste of the spirit. 1.25/5

Cascade Raspberry Cordial. Very difficult to drink. Strangely, the sweetness of the cordial just couldn't break through the awful spirit. The second was totally awful. 0/5

V. Awful but perhaps nicer with a wedge of lime, I'll go and get some limes. It is a little bit nicer with lemon, but still not quite passable as something I'd buy in a bar. Upon second tasting it was ok in a sip but the after-taste was murder. 1/5

Tonic Water. It was just a watered down, carbonated version of the original. Second taste emphasised how horrible it can be. 0.25/5

Schweppes Dry Ginger Ale. Nicest one so far, just a little bit sweet. This whole experiment has made me realise for the first time why people might ask for sweet drinks. On second taste it is still not good, ginger versus ginger, but better than the other mixers thus far. 1.5/5

Bundaberg Diet Ginger Beer. Simply tastes like a generic blend of all the other mixers. Uninspiring mix of unpleasant tastes. 0.5/5

Glace au Vitamin Water Triple X (acai blueberry and pomegranate). Before tasting this one I was terrified. I knew it would be the worst but didn't think it could be as bad as it was. An honestly cringe inducing combination of flavours. Couldn't bear a second taste. 0/5

Schweppes Agrum Blood Orange. Not passable but not far from it. “Passable” of course is a very loose concept. 1/5

Soda Water. No. So bad. Not having any more of this ridiculous bitters. It is an abominable drink and doesn't mix well with anything ever under any circumstances. 0/5

Unicum rates almost 1 star at the best of time.

The Exotic Beer Weekly - This week Lucky Beer

Good Beer, and Good Luck. 

The journey to true enlightenment begins with a single beer. Not just any beer, mind you. A humble monk cannot sip just any old brew and call himself enlightened. Nay, indeed he must partake of the Beer With the Buddha. Only then will he achieve higher consciousness and be able to answer the age old riddles that have plagued mankind forever: if a man drinks a beer in a forest, and there is nobody else around to party with, will he still have a great time? 

 

I am of course referring to Lucky Beer. You probably know it; you’ve no doubt seen it in the store, looked at it, picked it up, chuckled and thought “oh, that’s quite cool”, and instantly put it back down to find more well-trodden pastures. It’s the one with the image of the Buddha in the glass. While most would see this as novelty enough, if one cared to sneak a peek underneath the bottle, one might perceive 4 Chinese symbols (presumably carrying on the theme, standing for luck, prosperity, peace and love or some such). Obviously much effort has been put into producing a gimmicky bottle; hopefully the same work ethic has produced a drop to match. 

 

Luckily enough, the beer is quite good, though not by any means great. Like most things the Buddhists do, it’s incredibly subtle and requires lots of meditation to uncover its secrets. A mix of malt, rice, hops and water, all I could really taste was the water, which apparently comes from the Thousand Island Lake in China (which, the marketing execs assure us, is drinkable.) its heavily carbonated, but still very smooth and light, so the fledgling beer-drinker can drink it no problem.

My only issue is the lack of flavour; all I could taste was carbonated water. Sure, there’s a bit of beer flavour to it, id just prefer it to be stronger. Nevertheless, its still quite refreshing, a perfect accompaniment to Chinese food or when meditating in your Zen garden. 

 

When you get to the halfway point, you won’t be wondering whether its half empty or half full, but where the next bottle is coming from. And at only $12.99 a 6-pack, you wont have to follow Monkey’s Journey to the West just to find one. 

 

I award Lucky Beer 3 horseshoes out of 5.