This week: Lemon Z
(500mL) ($34)
I admit to a serious
tactical error in choosing Lemon Z for this week's spirit. It wasn't
until I opened the stylish frosted bottle I realised the mistake I
made. As a teenager I remember a party where, instead of grown-up
drink, we had several bottle of lemon essence, a synthetic baking
product that's 85% alcohol and 15% burning pain. I had a bottle of it
to myself, drinking it 50/50 with coke if I remember correctly.
That night my vomit was
so acidic it burnt a yellow hole in the carpet near the table I
blacked out under. The incident, and the day that followed, have been
singed into my memory as one of supreme discomfit. Herein lies the
difficulty with this particular review.
Lemon Z might be very
nice. In fact it might be the nicest lemon liqueur of its kind in the
world; I just couldn't tell you. Every sip gives me the kind of
shudder one only gets when reliving a very painful, alcohol-related
memory. I tried it on ice, as the bottle suggests. I tried with an
assortment of fruit juices. I almost tried it with coke but got a
particularly bad series of shivers, given the combination of smells.
Unfortunately this
means I have to split this review into the practical and the
theoretical. Practically I can't give Lemon Z any more than 1 star. I
realise however that this is entirely due to my on prejudices, and so
I'll give it a theoretical rating based on what I think I might think
about it had I never spent an evening in my youth swigging poison.
Theoretically Lemon Z
rates 3.5 stars.
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